New vocabulary use in 7th period.

My students have been learning new words this year.  This is not terribly surprising, but in addition to all the words I WANT them to learn (distance, displacement, etc), they are also learning things by listening to me speak.

A few weeks ago, I foolishly taught them the term "vertically challenged" (we were discussing political correctness).  They all agree that this is way worse than just being called "short", so of course they remembered it to call other people.  A good insult is not to be wasted, especially not one that is unlikely to send them to the dean.

Then, today, I used the term "nether bits" in class (We were talking about the metric system.  Of course I used the term "nether bits".  I have no idea why you're looking at me funny.)  The kids thought this was the best term EVER, and kept giggling and saying "nether bits" to themselves the whole period.

And then my two smartest boys started thinking about insults.  And so, today in class, one boy said to another, "You have vertically challenged nether bits!"

If I ever stop laughing, I need to decide if I think this is a good thing or not.  Looked at in the right light, this might just be education.

Student teacher

I now have a student teacher.  For those of you who don't know, teaching is sort of like medicine.  The only way to get good at it is to do it.  While the theory classes are very interesting, and the stuff on brain development is good to repeat to yourself when you're listing reasons not to murder teenagers, but it doesn't ever tell you what to do in the classroom.  When do you have the power struggle to make a kid move?  When do you issue a detention?  When do you kick a kid out?  What do you say to kid who makes the double entendre comment that starts the whole class giggling?

So when you're done with those theory classes, an experienced teacher lets you come in and spend time with their classes, and eventually take over the class for some number of weeks.  I have now been cast in the role of experienced teacher (5 years!).  This man who will be working in my classroom with my kids is an experienced chemist and patent lawyer.  He is very competent in his previous work.  But now, he has to learn how to entertain and manage kids well enough that some of his vast knowledge and experience passes from him to them.  And I have to help him do this.

I hated student teaching.  There were a number of reasons, very few of which are internet appropriate.  But I will say that that step from competent person to newbie was incredibly hard and humbling, and I did not feel well supported when I took it.  I still learned more than I ever believed possible, some from the adults I was working with and more from the kids.  So, in honor of this step of teaching an adult, I will list some of what I learned in student teaching that still shapes my teaching today.

1.  I am an adult, and they are children.  My self esteem is not, and should not be, shaped by what they think of me.
2.  Each day is a new day.  No matter how horrible the child was yesterday, be happy to see him/her again today (even if I'm really not).
3.  Be clear in your expectations.  I must explain exactly what I want -- they cannot read my mind.
4.  Having secret standards is unfair.  All of the basis for grading must be explained up front.
5.  Don't yell.  When I yell, my voice gets high and squeaky and I just sound silly.
6.  Yelling in German is better.  Any language they don't speak would probably work.
7.  Be organized in my lessons.  Kids appreciate a coherent flow of topics.  Jumping around is not helpful to anyone.
8.  Give frequent grade updates.  Kids want to know how they are doing, and will forgive me a great deal if I give useful feedback.
9.  Go to events the kids are in.  They love seeing teachers there.

And most important of all:
10.  CARE ABOUT THE KIDS!!!!  If they know I care about them, they will walk through fire for me.

And to finish up, one great kid story:
    When one of my students, a kid who would rather distract than learn most days, saw the student teacher in the classroom on Friday, he pulled me aside.  "Is this a day where I have to be especially good?"  "What?" I asked him.  "Are you getting graded?  Do I have to be good?"  He thought it was my review day, where I was getting graded by the administration, and wanted to be sure to be good on that day.  When I explained that this was not that day, he replied, "OK, but just tell me when."  It was a good moment :-)

I love teaching, and hope my student teacher does too.

Dinosaurs are cool.

In lieu of actual content, here are some cool dinosaur links.

They might rename the stegosaurus.  This makes me sad.  Why must we make the nomenclature match?  There are so many other exceptions that I think they should make an exception for this one.

The horniest dinosaur ever.  Am I a twelve year old boy that this makes me giggle?  I blame it on my students.  They probably won't mind.

And a cool evolution article here.  One breed of lizard is moving to live birth instead of eggs.  I love evolution in action.

All of my other words went to the twenty parent phone calls I made today.

Knitting! What a good plan!

Seriously, work really puts a cramp in my knitting time.  That fairly minor complaint aside (as I like being employed and mostly like my job and love my kids), I have finished something.

So here it is:  Argus Shawlette on ravelry.

Hanging over the back of a chair, awaiting blocking.

I knitted it out of Tahki Yarns Fiji, which is a silk blend.  The pattern was written for fingering weight, but this yarn is probably slightly bigger than worsted weight.  I used a 10.5 needle (US) and only did 2 repeats of chart A rather than the 3 called for in the pattern.  Otherwise, it was made according to the directions.

What I am not doing well is knitting for myself.  This is for a friend who needs surgery, but can't get it because she and her husband lost their health insurance, and she's having trouble finding grants to cover it, etc.  I will block it this weekend (the only place is my bed, and I don't have time to get it set before I leave for work, and the weekend should work) and get it in the mail early next week.

And maybe I'll even finish that pair of socks for me that I have been working on forever.

Conversations with teenagers

As full time employment with teenagers is slowing eating my brain, let me share with you a selection of the conversations I had with some of my students today.

Backdrop:  Class -- Physical Science.  Age -- mostly HS sophomores.  The educational objective was to teach kids to write really good hypotheses in the If . . . then . . . because . . . format.

First period:  We are reviewing an experiment we already did to determine if boys or girls had better reflexes, and rewriting the hypothesis for it in the new format.  All of a sudden, a boy off to the side of the room sighs loudly and with great satisfaction and says, "Spiderman."  The joy in his voice at that moment is hard to convey, but it was clear that Spiderman made him happy.  We all stopped and stared.  He then said, "I didn't mean to say that out loud.  It's just what I think of when I think of reflexes."  We stared a few more seconds and then returned to what we were doing.

Fifth period:  In the hallway before class started, a girl came up with her hand in the air, "Whaz up?"  I responded with the overly proper, "Hello" as I returned her high five.  "Don't say hello.  You're supposed to say 'what's up?' back!  Cmon, say 'what's up?'"  So I responded with, "What's up?"  "The ceiling!"  She ran into the classroom giggling.

Eighth period (the last of the day):  We are talking about the reflex experiment again, which involved dropping and catching a ruler, and all of a sudden, "F*ck you, Ruler!"  It is a good natured boy who is waving a ruler in the air, and said with great veahmence.  I told him to use more appropriate language in class and he looked at me, "What are you talking about?  I never said that."  He continued to deny all knowledge, and did it convincingly enough that my teenage liar radar did not go off.  I think he really had no idea he'd yelled that.  He did stop waving the ruler.

So with those pieces of wisdom, I'm going to go find a ruler to wave at the ceiling and think about Spiderman.  Or knit.  One of the two.

My least favorite part of teaching.

Paperwork.  Really.  I hate the stuff, and it breeds on my desk at night.

This morning, I got to school at 6:15 am to try to get caught up.  I worked until the kids arrived at 7:40.  I worked through my lunch period.  I worked while the kids were in class (relatively independent work today) and I'm STILL not caught up.  I am, however, less behind.  And I have not been neglecting the paperwork terribly.  It just exploded on my desk and inbox.

Here is a quick rundown on some of the paperwork I need to keep and manage.

1.  Grading.  This one is both necessary and my own fault.  I need to see student work.  How else can I see if the quiet girl really understands or is just busy daydreaming about the cute troublemaker in front of her?  This is where I can interact with student's work, and really see what they've learned.  And it had better be important, if I'm going to take the time to grade it.

1b.  Grade program back-ups.  See #2.  This was the ultimate goal of today's early arrival -- to get current on grading and make a back-up.

2.  Class lists.  I teach in a district with a high rate of transiency.  This means that even though this is the THIRD WEEK of school, in the last two days I have gotten 5 students who did not come before this week.  I had 4 new kids last week.  Today, a student was moved from my seventh period class to my first period class.  The exciting thing about that is that our grades are online, but when a kid is transferred, the grade does not transfer with them, and in fact totally disappears off the computer.  I will need to reenter this student's work into the program, and I did not make a recent back-up (see #1b).  Good thing I haven't handed the work back yet, isn't it?  Even more mysterious, there was a kid today who was somehow totally removed from the system.  I discovered this when calling students up to show them their grades, and I missed the kid.  When he told me, I realized he and his grade had vanished from the computer.  Hopefully, guidance has him sorted out again by tomorrow.  And his grade comes back.

3.  Attendance book.  Technically, I should be taking attendance every day in this fabulous computer program we have.  And I do.  However, the program is often behind reality.  Also, when a kid moves between periods, their attendance data also vanishes.  For this reason, I keep my own attendance record. From a legal standpoint, this is correct.  I should have a paper copy of my attendance records written in my own handwriting.  I don't do it that way.  I keep mine on excel so I can cut and paste and color code as needed.  I refuse to write out a paper copy and have to change it 17 times over the first month.  Keeping up even in excel can be no small task.

4.  Parent call log.  As I teacher, I am expected to call parents frequently.  I call when things are going well.  I call when they're going badly.  I call when the child has missed more than a few class days.  In some districts, there is an attendance secretary to do this for teachers (especially in high school where I have 100+ kids per day), but our school cannot afford that luxury.  And whenever I call a parent, I need to document it.  What number did I call, who did I talk to, what did I say, and did they say?  Because if that parent gets a report card and comes in and yells at the principal that they had no idea their child was failing (or skipping or whatever), I need to be able to prove that I did contact them.  Or at the very least left 5 voicemails for them at a number the school told me was theirs.

5.  Sports grade updates.  Eligibility for high school sports is dependent on grades.  Here in IL, you need to be passing 4 classes to be able to play sports.  (Yes, that standard is as ludicrous as you think it is.  Talk about setting the bar low).  This means that at random intervals (almost never on a consistent day), all of my athletes come running up to me with little cards that I need to write their current grade on at a moment's notice.  Now, I'm all for being pretty up to date on grading, but if we've just taken a quiz or turned in a major project, it may be a few days before I can tell you for sure what your grade looks like.  Plus, having to take class time to look up and fill out grades for 5 students cuts into my teaching time.  It is important, but irritating.

There's other stuff too, but this is what I was doing today.  All of it has a purpose, but it can get pretty overwhelming.  I think I need to go sit in bed and knit.  And try again tomorrow.  Maybe I'll even make it to e-mail tomorrow . . .  Hope springs eternal.

This whole day job thing really interferes with blogging.

School is back in session.  We are well into week 2.  The 90F heat in our un-air-conditioned building has been lots of fun.  When I get home, I want to do nothing but nap with an ice pack and drink lots of ice water.

I shouldn't whine, though, because I have things going pretty well.  About 90% of my students are starting the year off well, and seem to be engaged in the class.  They like the meditation exercises we're doing, except the one kid who refuses to do them because he "likes being mad all the time".  There has been minimal whining by students, even when I've been making them learn how to take notes.  So far, so good.  Two of my five classes have earned seating charts (as opposed to picking their own seats), but that's par for the course.  The parent I talked to today seemed as upset as I was that his child had missed half of the 8 school days so far.  Overall, the year is looking pretty good.

I have not been knitting much, and need to figure out where it fits.  I did start another shawl for a friend who is having some BAD STUFF in her life just now.  So much for knitting for me, but at least it's not Christmas knitting.  For the record, shawls go a lot faster on size 11 needles than size 4 needles.

The cucumber plant is still fighting the squash for garden domination.  The major casualty so far is the basil plant.  Completely covered with cucumber vine, it's giving up the fight, but still making the garden smell good.  A woman who owns a garden center told me that she had heard that squash and cucumbers interfere with each other's pollination, and I might not get a lot of fruit.  Obviously, that was some other species of squash and cucumber because today I took 3 more giant squash and 14! lemon cucumbers out of the garden.  Do you live in IL and want cucumbers that look like yellow softballs?  Because if so, have I got a deal for you!  I'm taking 6 to work tomorrow to foist off onto my coworkers.  And it's still a good thing I like veggies.

And now, my bed is calling me.  Teenagers require a lot of energy and 4:30am comes fast.  Good night, and sweet dreams of too many vegetables :-)